My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Randomize