I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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