I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
