Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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