i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
