hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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