You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
that is very illegal...i love you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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