fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
