I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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