I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
