I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
