You work out of a Hotel?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
