Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
