We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
