I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize