Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize