He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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