Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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