Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
