just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
