You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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