he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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