I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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