I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just forgot I was standing up.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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