No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
