there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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