I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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