Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
