Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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