They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize