Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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