Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
