I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
smell my finger.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
