Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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