Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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