Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
