All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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