I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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