She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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