I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
