Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
