its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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