I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My liver just had a heart attack.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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