so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
