So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The struggles of a small town man whore
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