I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
