I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
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