and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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