How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I need to stop coming to work sober
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
