You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.