Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
