we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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