I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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