going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
