Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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