guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
