just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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