ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
These tits shall not be calmed
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
