I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize