so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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