lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My balls are so social today.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
