yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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