we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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