All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
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